How doing things just for fun has made a difference for me.

Hardworking.

Ambitious.

Persistent.

Direct.

Honest.

Loyal.

Well, that’s a fun list, isn’t it? Born on December 29th, I’m a Capricorn, and you can bet I spent my childhood and early adulthood taking this list very…seriously. I thank Elle Girl and Teen Vogue for teaching me about my zodiac sign in those early years. In recent ones, I’ve joked that this sign really f*cked me up.

What do I mean by that?

Well, in middle school, my parents never checked in with me about homework - I was already on it and updating them on the reg. I spent hours on every school project, whether I was interested in the subject or not. I needed to always do a good - alright, great - job in school.

Okay, so I had a Popeye-strong work ethic that got me into honors classes in high school, and report cards filled with A’s, and into a good college, and into New York City, and into a good job. And finally, into a therapist’s office.

*From Cosmopolitan’s article “How to Handle the Big Capricorn Energy That’s All Around Us RN”*

Karen’s Couch

I was sitting on Karen’s couch, so very tired, wondering if I could take a nap instead of having our session. Many times, I ate lunch on that couch because “I didn’t have time” beforehand. So here I was, telling Karen (although I didn’t really have to say it; it was quite visible) how stressed and overworked and tired I had been feeling.

One day, I mentioned to her that I was obsessed with making to-do lists. I felt I couldn’t operate without one. Karen asked me if I ever just relax and do nothing?

Huh?

My feelings quickly went from confused to relieved. Here I was, getting my therapist’s approval - encouragement - to relax and do nothing. I looked up to Karen and thought she was successful and productive. If she was telling me it was okay to relax, then it probably was.

I spent the next few years coming around to this idea, letting myself chill out every now and then. Some days I didn’t even make a to-do list. I came to understand that not every moment needed to be productive.

*Artwork by* *Belinda Kou, a Chicago-based lettering artist, illustrator, and educator.*

Fun in Coaching

During my education to become a certified coach, there was a whole training about identifying core values, the things that matter most to us. Things like Leadership, Creativity, and Connection.

The lead coach, someone I admired and respected, shared that her top value was fun. I would be lying if my inner Capricorn judge didn’t pop in: “There are people out there whose top value is fun?”

In a moment, though, similar to what happened in my therapist’s office, that thought shifted from one of judgment to one of real and welcomed possibility.

What is Fun?

I learned that not only is fun a value, it’s a dynamic one. Ask 10 different people what fun means to them, or what’s fun for them, and you’ll get 10 different answers. For some, it’s playing sports. For others, it’s music and shows. For me, making art was at the top of my list. Hmm…when’s the last time I painted anything?

Art Class & Adult Summer Camp

I recently created more time in my schedule, and with that, signed up for an art class in Park Slope, Brooklyn. A 2-hour one. On Wednesdays. In the middle of the afternoon. Gosh, if this didn’t feel like the ultimate act of playing hooky, I’m not sure what would. The cool thing about this art class was that the point of it wasn’t to create a Picasso, or get a certification, or even to learn a skill. It was to be creative and have fun. I rarely took the art home with me; I didn’t need to hang the pieces on the fridge or frame them. One day, we even destroyed the art we made. It was just in-the-moment fun. For fun.

*Everyone in my art class used ink to make a piece, then we collaged it all together, then we ripped the whole thing up.*

My husband, who is naturally a lot of fun, runs Adult Summer Camps for a living. He reads books like “Play” and “How to Have Fun without Dying.” I went to one of his camps recently and played leapfrog. Leapfrog! It was ridiculous. And so much fun.

*Leap-Frogging at* *Third Nature Summer Camp*.

My Takeaway

What I’m getting more and more each day is that life isn’t just about achievements, it’s about enjoyment. Yesterday I was on the phone with my dad, who is also naturally a lot of fun. He and I were planning the next few days – what we’ll be doing, what we’ll be eating – when we see each other. I stopped us and said, “Okay, let’s enjoy the moment.” He replied, “That’s the whole idea, honey, of life.”

Your Takeaway?

Maybe fun comes easily to you, or maybe, like me, it’s something to intentionally cultivate.

What is fun for you?
What in your life would change if you placed a greater emphasis on having fun and enjoying life?
What’s 1 thing you’re doing for fun this week?
What kind of fun can you get yourself into this summer?

For Fun