The Trifecta of Belief

Have you ever had a dream or big idea in your head for a while? What was it like when you shared it with someone for the first time?

I remember being on the beach and I, nervous about the unknown reaction, turned to a friend and said, “I’m thinking of becoming a coach, what do you think?”

She didn’t hesitate. Quite the opposite. It was almost as if I had asked her, “Would it be okay with you if I gave you a million dollars right now?” She loved the idea. She told me I had the natural qualities of being a coach - empathy, curiosity, the care to inspire. That this path made a lot of sense for me. Woah!

From there, I went through an extensive coach training program, one of the best in the industry. During this time, I coached lots of practice clients and some paying clients and finally, many moons later, passed the required exams. “Well, I guess I’m technically a coach now,” I thought. But if I’m being honest, I didn’t really believe it.

The Plaque

I joined a group of coaches who were starting their own businesses and private practices. Bridgette Simmonds, a magnetic trainer at iPEC was leading the group. At the beginning, before I attended the first live call, I received a package in the mail. Inside was a plaque from Bridgette. It said “Coach.” Oh yeah, that’s me, I remembered. I put it on my desk. 

What did this plaque do for me? Well, for starters, it literally reminded me who I was, and who I was becoming; a Coach! So I did what a new coach would do: first, I hid (very common for new coaches). And then slowly, I had discovery calls with potential clients, I had sessions with a few, I read books on coaching, and I had connection calls with other coaches, including those from Bridgette’s group.

But what did this plaque REALLY do for me? It reminded me that someone believed in who I was becoming. It gave me strength when I had my doubts. It kept me going when I thought I would never get good at this. It helped me believe in me and realize my potential.

Me in a hammock, absorbing wisdom from The Prosperous Coach, right after joining Bridgette’s group.

The Radical Acceptance of Believing

What happened next changed everything. I didn’t just coach clients, I believed in them. And they knew I believed in them, because I really did. And they got new jobs, and fixed relationships with family members, and had uncomfortable conversations with friends, and traveled with babies on airplanes, and led big projects at work, and found love.   

As for me? I still love learning about the art of coaching and I suspect I always will. Sometimes I even read books on the topic before bed because I genuinely love improving my craft. (In the spirit of balance, which is one of my top values, I usually read fiction before bed, but I digress…). Recently, I read something that fully reminded me of the power of belief. 

This “radical acceptance” of believing in the other’s becoming is not just a tool for professional coaches; it’s the very glue that mends and bonds many relations we hold near. From Coaching A to Z: The Extraordinary Use of Ordinary Words by Solution Focus (SF) practitioner Haesun Moon.

The Trifecta of Belief

Believing my clients and believing in my clients is central to my work as a coach. I believe in their potential, their greatness, their ability to change and to create their lives. And I believe them. I believe what they tell me, and what they want, and who they wish to be. 

I recently saw a friend’s mom and she and I caught up about life and coaching. She texted me this morning saying she loves seeing how my coaching business has evolved, and that she was happy for me. I thanked her for believing in me since the beginning. She told me she ALWAYS did. It felt so good to hear.

When we believe in other people, it does something big for them. When other people believe in us, it does something big for us. And what about self-belief? Well, that’s arguably the biggest “something” of it all. You can think of it like three branches, or three sides of the triangle (believing in others, believing in ourselves, and others believing in us), and they all work together, and it’s an ongoing cycle. The more we experience these sides, the more inspired lives we live. I call it the Trifecta of Belief.

The Trifecta of Belief.

As the arrows indicate, the more we experience one side of the triangle, the more we experience the other two. There is no beginning and no end; it can “start” from any of the sides.

Putting Belief into Practice

Believing doesn’t always come easy. I still have that plaque on the top of my bookshelf and I look at it daily.

The best part of the Trifecta of Belief is that it can begin from any of the sides: believing in others, believing in self, or others believing in us.

So if you’re looking to feel more inspired, you might ask yourself:

• Is there someone out there who believes in me - who is it? How does it feel when people believe in me?

• What would it be like to believe in myself? How can I practice self-belief?

• Who in my life could I believe more? Believe in more? What might that do for them? And for me?